It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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