Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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