Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
