She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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