But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
