that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Small penises have feelings too.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
