That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
