Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
