$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
