Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
