For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
