Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm getting married
To pizza
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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