I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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