I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
