Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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