She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
