you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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