i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
love makes seman taste better
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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