what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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