I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
