I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
