the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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