I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
