forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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