He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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