My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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