Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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