Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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