i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
