I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
