It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
