I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
