Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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