Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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