After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wat bout pragnant strippers??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
