Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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