hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
