I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
