That reminds me...we need to get swords
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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