i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
