apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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