Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
