So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
