She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
