how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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