Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
