what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
