She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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