just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
