I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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