so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
