what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
